Young Australian Skeptics

Evidently believing that they weren’t an easy enough target already, the Creation Museum folks at Aren’t Surds our Relatives have painted ‘shoot me’ on a sandwich board in flashing neon yellow and are wearing it to the next Robin Hood convention.The article is the Top 10 reasons why you should go to the Creation Museum Science Fair in 2010, and even a quick glance will tell you that if reason were a person, the AiG folk would be burning in hell for sodomising him.

Let’s run through them, shall we?

“10. You probably don’t have anything else planned for February 27, 2010. (Mark your calendar!)”

This one they’re probably right about. Hell, what high school kid ever managed to plan that far in advance — getting to the weekend is hard enough! The sad part, of course, is that even if they’d asked this on February 26 the target audience wouldn’t have plans — what self respecting home-​​school mum would ever let her kids *gasp* socialise???

“9. It’s at the Creation Museum!”

“Well, gosh — the Creation Museum! Gee, I’d love to come but I have some more enjoyable things to do. Like pulling out all of my pubic hairs. Individually. With a rusty old tweezer.”

“8. It’s open to homeschoolers, Christian school students, and public school students — as long as you agree with AiG’s Statement of Faith and will conduct a quality experiment, you can apply.”

Oh, this one is definitely a keeper. Check out the Statement of Faith. If ever there was still doubt that AiG wouldn’t know what science was if it bit them on the arse (cf. Dover), this is it: You are allowed to conduct an experiment provided you agree to a predetermined list of beliefs, and agree not to question them. This is science…how, exactly?

“7. Science is fun!”

“…or so we’ve heard.”

“6. It will be a fun day of learning with special programs just for you.

5. You can show off your scientific prowess.

4. You can meet other creationist science-​​minded students.”

These three statements are mutually exclusive.

“3. You can conduct an experiment on a topic of your choice in the life or physical sciences (within certain guidelines).”

There it is again! Apparently, you can conduct an experiment, provided it falls within guidelines so restrictive that calling it ‘science’ is like calling Tom Cruise ‘appropriately sane’. I’m wondering — just what experiments are they going to conduct?

Hypothesis:

No new life forms will arise from my jar of tasty smooth peanut butter.

Method:

I will open the peanut butter and observe what happens.

Results:

Day One - The peanut butter is smooth and delicious. I observe no new life.

Day Ten -  There is still no new life in my peanut butter. Truly, God is amazing.

Day Thirty — A mould appears to have grown on my peanut butter, rendering it inedible.

Conclusion:

God is punishing me for questioning His divine creation.

“2. You can meet Answers in Genesis staff scientists.”

…and kick them in the nads?

“1. Many fabulous prizes will be awarded!”

That’s right kids — Jesus always gives the best presents! Actually, I shudder to think what prizes might be awarded by these know-​​nothing wankers. Probably, you’d be better off staying at home…although…

…I wonder if we really could pull a Poe on these guys. Are there any students from the USA, preferably near the Creation Museum, who would be willing to give this a go? Or do any readers know of anyone who may be interested? If so, shoot me an email at m o b y s e v e n [a in the cirle of doom] g m a i l [dottus] c o m. Obviously you’d be on your own with the physical setup and execution, but I’d be more than willing to put in some time to plan your ‘experiment’ with you.

Tags: aig, answers in genesis, creation museum, morons with bibles, Richard Hughes

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 30th, 2009 at 8:00 am and is filed under Creationism, Pseudoscience, Richard Hughes, Skeptic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.