Young Australian Skeptics

Oy gevalt…the folks at Answers in Genesis are at it again — or should that be continually? There’s a new article up on their blog that’s titled Are YOU Evolutionized? but could just have easily been titled Lying For Jesus: Part MMIX. This latest fossil of ignorance was unearthed by David Wright, who is apparently currently working on an “aerospace engineering degree at a major secular university”. One wonders how well he gets on, what with the theory of gravity and all…

“Evolution can become so ingrained in our thinking that we don’t even notice it. Our government schools and universities are entrenched in evolution, from biology to philosophy and even English class.”

Biology: Check. Philosophy: Eh…kinda check? It’s enters into a lot of debates on ethics and naturalistic epistemologies, but there’s a veritable buffet of philosophy one can do without thinking twice about evolution. And English class? Really? I have strong, strong reservations about accepting that claim on face value.

“There is no escaping evolution after we graduate, either. We encounter it in the newspaper, on the radio, on television, and in blockbuster movies.”

Much for the same reason we encounter gravity, China, and philandering politicians in those same places: Because they actually exist.

“So, how do you know if you’ve been evolutionized? Here are a few questions to find out:”

Oh, oh — pick me! I can come up with a few of these! “Are you a biologist?” “Do you doubt the veracity of a holy book written millenia ago by pre-​​scientific nomads?” “Can you tie your own shoelaces without assistance?”

“1. Are tribes in the South American rain forest more primitive forms of humans than we are?”

Well, that was a let down of a first question. No, no they’re not. Of course, no evolutionary biologist is claiming that they are, so…

“2. Did dinosaurs live before humans?”

F*** yes.

“3. Were the people who lived in caves and used simple tools not very intelligent?”

Sheesh, ambiguous question much? Depends on what you mean by ‘intelligent’, and which ‘people who lived in caves’ you’re talking about. Believe it or not, ‘cave people’ doesn’t just pick out one group of people…

“4. Did Noah lack special tools or equipment to build the Ark?”

Yes: A magic portal that would allow him to fit every animal in the world onto a single wooden ship, and an invulnerable varnish to protect the ship from the single worst storm in the history of ever.

“5. Are the stars older than the earth?”

Umm…some of them are? You’re aware that star formation is a dynamical process, right? That stars are forming right now as I type this sentence? Actually, scratch that…it probably sounds too much like ‘evolution’ for your tastes.

“6. Is there more than one race?”

Yes, and all the wishy-​​washy feel good “we’re all the same race” stuff really doesn’t fly with me. It trivialises the fact that for centuries or more people have been persecuted and oppressed because of their race, and ignores blindingly obvious differences between people who have different ancestral pasts. We’re all people. We are all capable of rational thought. We all have feelings and desires. Isn’t that enough? Why pretend that we’re a homogenous product?

“7. Does it take millions of years to form fossils, oil, coal, or diamonds?”

Oil is probably around hundreds of thousands of years. Coal is probably in the millions of years ballpark. Diamonds are definitely in the millions of years range, provided we’re talking about natural formation. Fossils I’m not sure about, but if I had to ballpark it I’d say many tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands of years.

The fact that he lumps all these things together as ‘millions of years’ is very telling too. To him, millions of years and tens of thousands of years both fall into the ‘really long time’ category. To me, the difference between a million years and ten thousand years is an error of a few orders of magnitude.

“8. Did Adam have to learn how to speak, read, and write after he was created?”

No. Adam didn’t speak, read or write; it is well established by modern bible scholars that Adam communicated entirely through the medium of interpretive dance, which was then interpreted and translated by his cadre of magical unicorns.

“If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’ve been evolutionized to some degree, and the more times you responded “yes,” the more evolution impacts your thinking. Evolutionary teaching so permeates our culture that it can affect every area of our thinking, including what we believe about the Bible. This sort of evolutionized thinking has even permeated our churches.”

See, now of course we’re onto the real bullshit of the article. According to David Wright, the theory of evolution is capable not only of teaching us about how other races (which don’t even exist) are inferior and that dinosaurs lived a hell of a long time ago, but also how long diamonds take to form and how old stars are. This kind of wackaloonery is exactly the sort of thing that doesn’t deserve to be met with serious consideration — if you honestly think that the sun is somewhere between a six and twelve thousand years old, you’re not living in the 21^st century.

Oddly, it seems that David must have missed Jason Lisle’s series on logical fallacies. Either that or he must have thought it was a guide on what he should use. Either way, this article rates as a big fat…

Tags: answers in genesis, Evolution, morons with bibles, Richard Hughes

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